...in the most un-likeable performance ever. normally i'm pretty well-inclined toward richard gere--i enjoyed his performances in chicago and runaway bride, but american gigolo bored me to tears while simultaneously managing to make me feel dirty all over. it's general knowledge that i love skeeve--i'm not ashamed. i enjoyed flavor flav's stint on vh1 as much as the next person; i like movies that feature tentacles and not much else; i'm not into john waters, but only because i feel like his movies lack characterization. but this crap just sucked. leon, the gay black pimp who sets richard gere up, has a line in which, when asked why he set richard gere up, he says something like, "because i don't like you. nobody likes you." it was the single moment in the film that made me feel like cheering.
don't bother buying the soundtrack; it's just one song.
i mean, if you like watching richard gere work on his core, have the most terrible sex scene i've seen in a movie since underworld and possibly ever, drive, and unbutton his shirt, this movie may be for you. oh, also walk around. he walks around a lot. there is a good twenty minutes of footage in this movie of richard gere walking--often in monochromatic outfits. he just walks and walks--usually along softly lit hallways, but sometimes outside--often with a jacket slung over his shoulder, but sometimes simply with his shirt fairly unbuttoned. if the who were still all around and wished to record a song that they'd pretty much already written for richard gere in american gigolo, i'd recommend, simply, replacing "see" to make the lyric, "i can walk for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles."
here are some of the alternative blog titles i tried before deciding for the relative simplicity of the one i went with:
American Gigolo: richard gere's madame tussaud's statue has gone missing and been found in this movie, walking, talking, and acting kind of
American Gigolo: i pay 8.99 a month to netflix to watch richard gere learn swedish
American Gigolo is American GigolNONONONONO!
American Gigolo: here's hoping that this movie recouped at least the amount spent on the tanning oil required to make the entire caucasian portion of the cast basically the color of malibu barbie and her coterie
American Gigolo, or, richard gere repairs his car
again, i like richard gere. don't feel attacked, rich. and i like jerry bruckheimer too--i guess even he started small. and gross. and pointless. don't see this movie unless you want to get a handle on kind of cool '80's fashions, and then just watch it with the sound off. make up your own script. i guarantee it will be better than the one used by the movie.
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