black dynamite: and the feeling's right

Black Dynamite: movie starring Michael Jai White...

the below is an almost entire rewrite of the review i had up here previously, the which was a weird and wandering ramble through what i think of say yes to the dress and mystery science theater as opposed to a focused review of a film i totally admired.  the two things i'm keeping from the last review (aside from the basic critique, which i'm going to try to obfuscate less) are, one, as regards michael jai white,

"who is the elisa to my hector moreda: i would totally switch for that guy," 

because he is super-good looking, and, two, the below, because any possible lyrics for manos: hands of fate: the musical must not be silenced!:
"yes i am torgo, quit your debatin'--
it's true that i serve a priest of satan!
however, my pride it is a salve to,
that the master wants you, but he can't have you!"

so.  (again, not trying to change the basic premise of this entry, just trying to streamline it, like, a lot--i feel guilty for repeating myself, but i shouldn't, because i'm not trying to make a new argument.)  what i thought was awesome about this film was the precision with which it made fun of low-budget genre films (not going to say Blaxploitation films, because i've watched some, but not nearly enough to claim some sense of how they generally go--however, i've watched a LOT of low-budget and genre films, and can say that black dynamite mocks these with hardcore accuracy).  because it could almost pass for a really terrible film that was made in earnest.  i was trying to explain in the earlier version of this entry that michael jai white does a fantastic job of acting the part, not of the character black dynamite, but of the dude who would have been hired to play the part of black dynamite had black dynamite been a serious film.  it's not just that he acts as wooden and uncomfortable onscreen as the guy he's playing would have in the "real" version of the movie, it's also that occcasionally, like when the boom mike comes down and he kind of stares at it as if to say "this thing is in the shot but i'm going to keep going because nobody's saying not to," or when there's the imprecise cut that sneaks into the film, or the degree of contrast between his "bad-ass" acting and his "emotional" acting (that line about being an orphan), he shows us glimpses of the dude attempting to act the part, the one who clearly got hired because he looked like a badass, not because he had either acting talent or experience. 

which is just FUNNY.  i mean, the stuff that the character black dynamite does and says is also funny, but it's more about how he does and says it than what it is.  and this "how" thing extends throughout every part of the movie.  the soundtrack, which, with its specialized themesong moments and protagonist-centered lyrics, is really only a few steps away from some of coffey's soundtrack stuff, and the type of film or camera or whatever it is that makes the film look, like, perfectly low-budget, and the fact that the plot throws in everything and the kitchen sink, which is a move one sees a lot in bad low-budget genre films, presumably because their creators think, "if we put some version of everything we've ever seen in the real films of this genre into our film, someone's bound to like something in it."

in fact, you can kind of do the same characterization of the writers and director that you can for michael jai white-as-black dynamite-actor, if you want.  like a lot of the filmmakers whose films were covered by mystery science theater (this is my knowledge base, and i am not ashamed!), these hypothetical "real" black dynamite writers wanted to create a Blaxploitation film that would make them some money, so they packed all the cliches in that they could possiibly think of, from a Vietnam flashback to a gently tear-struck prostitute (who, as i mentioned in the last version of this review, i loved--she's so good), into a blender*, and then the director went straight to film with whatever came out.  the plot is awesomely ridiculous, and that is awesome, but the motivation for its being such a mess is almost funnier than the mess itself, though i haven't explained it very well.  it's like, the production team was interested in making a Blaxploitation film for the sake of drawing a Blaxploitation audience so that they could make the money, and in order to do that they made the Blaxploitation-est film they could think of, and that is black dynamite.

in conclusion, yeah.  black dynamite could totally pass for a really really bad really really low-budget example of Blaxploitation...except on purpose.  i feel like it was made with a lot of love, or it wouldn't have had either the ability or the patience to be so damn accurate.  it's hilarious.  i recommend it to people who know bad movies and who like things that are funny.  there was no badly-hit note.  it was all awesome. 

oh, and recommendations regarding the drinking game: the person who claims the word "jive" as their imbibement trigger is going to be very drunk, and the person who takes "turkey" isn't going to be far behind.


*just, coincidentally enough, in the same manner as crow accuses the wild wild world of batwoman of doing.
yes, this is the streamlined version of this review.  whyever WOULDN'T america be grateful?