Thursday, July 23, 2009

Harry Potter and the slo-cam of yet another director

Harry Potter 6: movie of a Harry Potter book

i thought Harry Potter 6 sucked. it had all the pacing of Let the Right One In but with only half the interest (and that is a half of a whole that isn't much larger than a quarter of most wholes--that sentence totally made sense, probably). i thought the acting was pretty awesome, however. that lavendar brown sure played the heck out of her part, and everyone else did really well as well. i actually cared about snape--well done, rickman! this despite the script! good acting was by no means enough to save the film, or make what felt like a 5-hour movie magically speed by in what might feel more like 4 and a half hours, but i was certainly favorably impressed.

not that they can win with Harry Potter movies. every fan's got to object to something--at least one thing that everyone objects to, plus their own special thing that nobody else has thought of objecting to yet. it's a moral obligation. i personally object to the casting of maggie smith as mcgonagal. for one thing, she's too pretty. for another, she plays it too prim. mcgonagal is generous and awkward, not narrow-minded and querulous. i consider that my special platform of complaint, because who else in their right mind would object to maggie smith in anything, especially in the part of mcgonagal? it's like objecting to robert downey jr. playing the part of, um, a brilliant actor with a former drug problem now relaunching his career. it seems like maggie smith was born to play mcgonagal. but i don't buy it.

however, her being all wrong for the role didn't hinder the film any more than the acting helped it. it was a terrible film. i think we'd all agree that the book version of The Half-Blood Prince is jam-packed with stuff...so why, as if in resistence to that aspect of it, did the director choose to set the pace as slow as a victrola that badly needs another hand cranking? maybe he thought that the book moved so fast, we needed a more molasses-like version to clarify the plot. unfortunately this didn't work out, because the plot, within the movie, doesn't appear to exist, but i guess it was generous of him to attempt it. i'm not sure the direct of HP 6 is a man, and i didn't like the movie well enough to check. i'll just look like an ignorant and sexist jerkface--yet another thing i have to blame HP 6 for! the cinematography is very lovely. which isn't going to matter a great deal to anyone who's read the books.

i'm sorry i'm being so mean. not sorry enough to stop. but sorry.

you know what role robert downey jr. would be really good in? that of the main dude in arms and the man. anyone else feel me on this one?

oh and orange you glad it's not a cooking blog anymore? probably you don't really care one way or the other. do you, you ingrate? do you? i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i apologize for getting into your grill.

No comments: