modius operandius

why review? i mean, really. i don't like it when people review me (that is, i kind of do, but...it's complicated. suffice it to say that the amount that i like getting reviewed well is almost as embarrassing to me as the degree to which i hate getting reviewed poorly [or not reviewed], and so the whole experience of being reviewed can legitimately qualify itself as "distasteful," even when it makes me happy). reviewing things is just rude. there are enough opinions out there without adding mine to the mix.

but one can't resist, if said one is me. i love reviewing crap. i try not to be mean; i understand that, along with the desire to take our money, publishing companies and movie distribution companies at the very least represent individuals who are passionate about what they've accomplished--and at the most, probably don't despise us to the degree that they like to pretend. they are filling the demand, here. i mean, i voted with my dollars to see transformers II: revenge of the fallen. at the risk of revealing my codependent relationship with hollywood, it at least feels fair to say that i deserve what i got.

but being mean is FUN. it is a pre-daddy-taking-t-bird-away good time. it is a snarker's high. with snarkdorphins. and considering the fact that i'm probably never going to meet any of the people i review, it's a safe-ish outlet...well, for me. i should respect the sensitive, fragile natures of those around me, but i don't. gotta unleash somehow. can't be all sweetness and light all the time.

in the interest, finally, of demonstrating to what degree my taste is kind of terrible, i'll be attempting to review everything i read, see, and listen to that isn't for school and i make no guarantees about television. because i feel like it'll make me a better writer, and because, you know, what the hey, maybe joining the dark side for a bit will give me a better perspective on reviewers--how they can be so beautiful and so sad.

plus then maybe this blog can function like the bluth's one house in sudden valley--as a pristine selling unit for possible blogging jobs. because who WOULDN'T want to hire me to write like this? eh?