know what i enjoyed? the dragonball movie. why? because i had NO expectations walking into that theater. and i feel very much the same about legion. sure, the plot don't hang together for crap. sure, the fact that a bunch of people banded together to defend a diner and then died gets completely overwhelmed by the sexual tension between gabriel, michael, and jeep (yes, dennis quaid character appears to have named his son jeep, and for that alone i think he probably deserves to die. so it was written). yes, apparently the archangel michael is also a trained gynecologist (a gynocologangel, perchance?)...and, as has been mentioned by several reviewers, the fact that god tired of our bullshit doesn't, at least to the bullshitters' perspective, appear to be enough of a reason for Him to be attacking us with sharktoothed angel-zombies. my personal favorite out of the banquet of either meaningless or over-obvious idiosyncrasies that one can hold against legion: archangel michael falls, scares junkyard dogs, walks into a "toy" manufacturing or distributing plant, and comes out (through a firey cross-hole) not only toting giant bagfuls of guns but wearing a beautifully tailored three-piece suit.
i don't know, man. you just can't put a price tag on that. not the suit, i mean. nor the guns. you could price both of those. but the moment itself. it's kind of like the moment when gabriel flips the switch on his giant spiky mace thing, and it starts to whirr in circles. very exciting; baroque in its execution.
i like totally unbelievable acts of self-mutilation and awesome fight scenes that make no sense whatsoever. it's why i enjoyed ninja assassin to the hilt. now, granted, the fact that the zombie angel child can think of nothing more creative to say than "you die now" in its creepy voice is slightly disappointing. but really, aside from this and most of the rest of the movie, i can think of nothing to hold against legion.
suuure liked the acting. jeep creeped me the frack out, but maybe he was supposed to. the rest of them were good. i really liked the lachrymose gabriel (might have picked that description up from some other review--also he certainly put the "gay" back in "gabriel," which i would never DREAM of objecting to). i also liked it when the cast of angel sanctuary somehow were called in as one of heaven's lines of offense.
there's a complex point to be made about how in legion, there's this certain amount of "people living as themselves" which is explored and...reaffirmed, maybe? kind of like in 30 days of night, but 30 days of night did it much better.
ah, screw that. paul bettany, you're awesome! eat something!!!
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